Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff
Be off, or I’ll kick you down stairs!”


“That is not said right,” said the Caterpillar
The Caterpillar was the first to speak
“What size do you want to be?” it asked
“Oh, I’m not particular as to size,” Alice hastily replied; “only one
doesn’t like changing so often, you know.”

“I _don’t_ know,” said the Caterpillar
Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in her life
before, and she felt that she was losing her temper
“Are you content now?” said the Caterpillar
“But I’m not used to it!” pleaded poor Alice in a piteous tone
And she
thought of herself, “I wish the creatures wouldn’t be so easily
offended!”

“You’ll get used to it in time,” said the Caterpillar; and it put the
hookah into its mouth and began smoking again
This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again
In a
minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and
yawned once or twice, and shook itself
“Of the mushroom,” said the Caterpillar, just as if she had asked it
aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight
Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute,
trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as it was
perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question
However, at
last she stretched her arms round it as far as they would go, and broke
off a bit of the edge with each hand
“And now which is which?” she said to herself, and nibbled a little of
the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment she felt a
violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her foot
She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but she felt
that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking rapidly; so she
set to work at once to eat some of the other bit
Her chin was pressed
so closely against her foot, that there was hardly room to open her
mouth; but she did it at last, and managed to swallow a morsel of the
lefthand bit
“What _can_ all that green stuff be?” said Alice
“And where _have_ my
shoulders got to
And oh, my poor hands, how is it I can’t see you?”
She was moving them about as she spoke, but no result seemed to follow,
except a little shaking among the distant green leaves
“I’m _not_ a serpent!” said Alice indignantly
“I’ve tried the roots of trees, and I’ve tried banks, and I’ve tried
hedges,” the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; “but those
serpents
There’s no pleasing them!”

Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no use in
saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished
“As if it wasn’t trouble enough hatching the eggs,” said the Pigeon;
“but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and day
Why, I
haven’t had a wink of sleep these three weeks!”

“I’m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,” said Alice, who was beginning to
see its meaning
Ugh, Serpent!”

“But I’m _not_ a serpent, I tell you!” said Alice
_What_ are you?” said the Pigeon
“I can see you’re trying to
invent something!”

“I—I’m a little girl,” said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she remembered
the number of changes she had gone through that day
“A likely story indeed!” said the Pigeon in a tone of the deepest
contempt
“I’ve seen a good many little girls in my time, but never
_one_ with such a neck as that
You’re a serpent; and there’s
no use denying it
Alice crouched down among the trees as well
as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled among the branches,
and every now and then she had to stop and untwist it
It was so long since she had been anything near the right size, that it
felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it in a few minutes,
and began talking to herself, as usual
“Come, there’s half my plan
done now
How puzzling all these changes are
I’m never sure what I’m
going to be, from one minute to another
It was opened by
another footman in livery, with a round face, and large eyes like a
frog; and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled
all over their heads
She felt very curious to know what it was all
about, and crept a little way out of the wood to listen
The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great letter,
nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other,
saying, in a solemn tone, “For the Duchess
An invitation from the
Queen to play croquet.” The Frog-Footman repeated, in the same solemn
tone, only changing the order of the words a little, “From the Queen
An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet.”

Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled together
Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked
“There’s no sort of use in knocking,” said the Footman, “and that for
two reasons
“Please, then,” said Alice, “how am I to get in?”

“There might be some sense in your knocking,” the Footman went on
without attending to her, “if we had the door between us
For instance,
if you were _inside_, you might knock, and I could let you out, you
know.” He was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking, and
this Alice thought decidedly uncivil
“But perhaps he can’t help it,”
she said to herself; “his eyes are so _very_ nearly at the top of his
head
But at any rate he might answer questions.—How am I to get in?”
she repeated, aloud
“—or next day, maybe,” the Footman continued in the same tone, exactly
as if nothing had happened
“How am I to get in?” asked Alice again, in a louder tone
“_Are_ you to get in at all?” said the Footman